Hank Paul's Blog

Tips and tricks to help you be a better LGBTQIA+ ally in business and in life.

4 reasons why you should be asking your wedding clients their pronouns

Sep 27, 2022

Talk of pronouns has become commonplace in the last few years. For example, you've likely been prompted to share your own pronouns on a personal Instagram or Zoom account online. But if you work in the wedding industry, you might have noticed that it's not as ubiquitous as other workplaces.

Pronouns are an essential part of how we are seen and how we interact with the world as individuals. For many Queer people not having them recognised can make us feel at best, misunderstood, and at worst, invisible or invalid.

 Planning a wedding as an LGBTQ+ couple can be daunting due to the overwhelmingly gendered and heteronormative traditions of the engagement process. Simple actions like asking your clients for their pronouns are a small but important way of showing that you care about, and recognise, the importance of LGBTQ+ rights and representation in the wedding industry

Asking for someone's pronouns is a simple way of showing that you respect them and their identity.

Here are four reasons why you should be asking your wedding clients for their pronouns:

1. To normalise it

Normalising the act of asking for someone's pronouns helps to break down the barriers that many LGBTQ+ people face in the wedding industry. By normalising asking for pronouns, we are sending a signal that we believe that everyone has the right to be respected and acknowledged for who they are.

2. To avoid making assumptions

When it comes to assuming people's pronouns, those assumptions are usually informed by societal norms about gender expression. However, what we know about gender now is that it's far more to do with how you feel inside, which isn't something you can always see. Assuming your client's pronouns can be harmful because it can result in people being misgendered and invalidated.

3. To craft a more bespoke client experience

By asking your clients their pronouns early in their client experience, you are creating countless opportunities to further nurture and develop the relationship you have with them. It feels really special when people use the correct pronouns, as it communicates "I see you". As a paying client, this only increases the chances they will be satisfied with your work and recommend you to friends.

Expert mode: Level up your client services by checking if people want to be recognised as a bride, a groom, or something else, and adjust all forms and workflows accordingly.

4. To signal that you are an Ally

Allies understand the importance of pronoun usage in the Queer community. Even if pronouns "aren't a big deal" for you and your own identity, asking for pronouns is a great way to let people know that you'll do what you can to respect and affirm their identity.


Want to learn more about being an ally in the wedding industry?

Download the Complete Allyship Roadmap here.


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